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I am tired of you.
Tired of you pretending to be my friend.
Tired of you acting like you're depressed.
Tired of you comparing me to yourself.
What the fuck is your problem?
Every time I talk to you its like you don't want me to ever be there and when you tell me and your other friends that you're going to hurt yourself, I ask you if you're alright and you tell me that everything is fine. Nothing is wrong. I was there to comfort you, but you just told me to go away.
Why are you being so strange?
I want to help you, but you say that no one cares and that I don't care and neither does your boyfriend.
Don't you see that I want to help you?
Don't you see that I care for my friend?
Don't you?
No.
You can't see.
You are too stubborn.
I wish I could help you, but it's like you're always in another world of your own.
I could help you if you told me what's wrong and I have asked you several times, but you just say 'nothing is wrong'.
If you want help so much, why not tell me what's the problem?
Why can't you just see that I'm one of those people who care and no matter what you'd say to me, I'd always keep it a secret?
I wish you could see that.
I wish you would stop being so stubborn and stupid.
Maybe you don't want help though. That's why you don't tell anyone shit.
You're just an attention wanting person
.
Good luck with that.

Writer's Block: If we took a holiday ...

What is your favorite holiday and why?


My favorite holiday is Easter because you don't have to ask for Chocolate. You just get chocolate out of nowhere.

He was and still is my dream come true. <3

I remember when him and I first met.

It was different I would say.

We had Fac's class every even day last year in 8th grade.

I was the shy girl in the corner over there. *points to a corner* lol.

Well, when he came up and met me, I was at a computer and doing nothing apparently. I was just sitting there being bored as ever. He taught me how to play solitaire. haha. =p

Before I ever really knew him, I thought he was another 'one of those guys'. You know what I mean by that. Apparently I judged him wrong. He is much more than a guy in the concept that I see guys to be.

He was very nice, sometimes perverted. He was always chill. He wouldn't ever yell and his laughs aren't loud and annoying like some tend to be with guys. Gentle he is.

We would talk so much in Fac's class and the funny part is that I never really looked at him when we talked. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE. Don't ask. I was like that last year. I don't want it to happen again. lol. why? Every time that I was at my locker in the morning and the bell would ring to tell us to go to class or whatever, he would tap me on my shoulder and I would look around the hall behind me and I would find him walking away with his head turned around with a great big perky smile and I would be like 'who is that?!?!'. And one even day at Fac's class after the mysterious moments in the hall, him and I sat right next to each other in class and that's when I finally realized that he was the guy always tapping me on my shoulder in the hall! haha. I feel so stupid about shit like that. lol.

This year, other than him being in just 1 class with me, he is in 2 classes with me in a row. Last month he asked me to homecoming. I said no of course. I wasn't sure if he was just joking or being serious though because he did say after asking, "aw man! I just got denied". Yeah, so I ask him later if he meant it and he was like no. I wasn't hurt emotionally or anything, but he thought I was, so now, he doesn't talk to me anymore. =/

I want him and I to be friends. He's probably the nicest guy I've ever known besides David Delvhecio.

I don't mind him joking around...him and I can still be friends.

The feeling of being left out.

I know that a lot of my friends have gone through it. I never thought it would be such a terrible feeling though....I'm finally going through that phase where all I want to do is hang out with my friends and to be "happy". I've never been happy. My life is filled with nothing but loneliness. My parents don't let me do anything outside the house alone with my friends. I even explained to them how it makes me feel to not have friends to hang out with every weekend. Just hanging out in general. We don't have to buy things at the mall. Just loiter around places. Look around and stuff. I've wanted my lifestyle with my friends to be like that for a very long time. It rarely ever happens. My mom always tells me that it shows that other parents that let their kids do that all the time DON'T CARE about their own children. They let them do anything because they don't care. That is not true...I have a friend. He is always hanging with his "niggas". haha. All the time...literally. I'm not kidding because he's always outside as proved by his "sexy pictures". ;) 3 weeks ago he was grounded because of his grades in Spanish class. He has a 68. He is still grounded. What does that tell ya? His parents are STRICT! and serious and cares about him. DUH! =p Just so you know, all parents must and are like that. They may seem as if they don't care but once something goes wrong, they care a whole bunch. P.S. I went off subject. ;)
We are all born...

and we all die of course.

Life is short, as many can say, and you should live your life to the fullest!

You know that statement that some adults may say that second that statement there? You know: "It's easier saying than doing it." Yeah, that one.

Just to get your mind off that one statement that it's easier saying it than doing it, you should never listen to that one statement there. Why? BECAUSE! People who say that kind of stuff are missing out on their life as well!

Let's put it this way, we have our own opinions and lifestyles. We don't have to listen to ANYONE. We should do whatever we want, whenever we want, where ever we want and however we want to do what we desire to do! You SHOULD live your life to the fullest. Spend all your money traveling to places you've always wanted to visit! You have a crush? DANG, you should KISS THEM! Don't be a shy guy. LoL like mee. XD Maybe one day I'll get past it though. Soon it will be ;) . My feelings for him are strong. I've realized that I shouldn't care much about how they choose how to live their life. If he still living the way he wants then I'm good. :)

Done. Maybe I'll edit this later. I haven't necessarily finished this.


What is your biggest fear? Have you tried to overcome it?

My biggest fear is the dark.

I have tried to overcome my fear, but it hasn't worked. I am completely phobic of the dark.

I'm 15 years old, and I still use night lights. So much for sleeping in the dark...

Wowwwzerzzzz.

Ahhhhhh......


Not much has been going on lately after the first month of High School.

High School over here is hell.
BAD PART:
I have really bad teachers, I'm already failing english yet I have a GREAT english teacher!, my algebra 1 teacher is an ass and his head is shaped like an egg....at least he cares about our grades and succession, I think my World History teacher is kinda psycho but a good psycho. He used to be in the Marines(he likes imitating cavemen).
PERSONAL BAD PART:
I still like Nicholas and he likes a girl OLDER than me and he's 14 and I'm 15. The girl he likes is 17 and is taking her to homecoming this Saturday and I can't go because of my stupid parents!, I can't focus anymore at school because half the time, I'm being bothered by either Nicholas or this annoying guy Graeme, I am doing terribly for a start at high school.... ugh. I can't think anymore.
GOOD PART:
I make it on time to my classes without taking the elevator(i take the stairs), I got back to being friends with Kaela, I actually got into a club of Anime(OMFG OMFG! So excited for this club!),  I haven't been a fool and dressed up for spirit week yet(haahahaaha), I actually TRY to succeed at my work but I don't....in the end.
PERSONAL GOOD PART:
I do my homework, I'm not on the computer as much as I used to be, I'm losing weight, I smell better(lol not kidding), I don't have any enemies! Except that bitch Jam. I don't like including that anorexic, bitchy ass rag doll(haaha) and her Jay Leno chinned ugly ass Kimberly either!

Done :)


Writer's Block: Mirror, mirror

If you broke a mirror, would you worry about bad luck even if you're not superstitious? Would you walk under a ladder or cross a black cat's path on a dare? Is there anything you're superstitious about?
I am not very superstitious about things as such. And I don't believe that if you break a mirror that I'll have years of bad luck. None of it is true unless you tempt to think it's true. Superstitious things tend to happen when you think about it, act as if you want it to happen or hoping it won't happen.

Things happen if they want it to happen, so basically, none of it's true.

Yes I've broken a mirror, I've crossed a black cat and got in its way and I've walked under a ladder. Nothing has happened to me.

Life is life. Live it. Don't fear the superstitious. It's all myth.

My own quotes.

Life Quotes:

Life is a big pond. There are small fish; there are big fish. You can be whatever you want
.

To get around life, you're going to have to live like you tell yourself to live; not what others tell you to do.



Love Quotes:

Love doesn't come through life as if it were life.You can't just surf love as you do with life. Love is a gift that comes around and goes around. Enhance love as it comes around and love the love you give and get before it all gets thrown away.

A handshake is a handshake.
It hasn't nothing else to tell or give.
A book is a book.
It may tell some stories, but does that mean any of the stories are true?
A bird is a bird.
But that bird sang a love song, didn't it?


DONE. Well, just for now.
More quotes to come :)

A digital camera's funeral.

My camera just died.

It won't ever turn on again.

I was turning it on...and the little blue light never came on.
I WAS GOING TO TAKE SOME NEW PICTURES TO UPLOAD ON MYSPACE, but it was too late.

R.I.P. Aiptek HD Digital Camera. I'll miss you.

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